Bras for Men--Now Available in 3 Colors! / by Joe Baz

Victor's Secret? There was a most interesting story in the Metro this week.  After being launched earlier this year, bras for men have been selling out of stock in Japan.

This darkest of Victoria's Secrets was originally produced in a single color, which clearly doesn't work for the typical male who needs a variety of lingerie, is now available in three.  Not being able to read Japanese well I can't guarantee that my wording is 100% correct here, but from just looking at the man bra website, I believe the three colors are:  Why the f*@# are you wearing that black,  Oh no now I need to stab my eyes out pink, and Why does this always happen on my dates white.  Too vanilla for you? There's also a leopard print.

Bonus: Show 'em you're a tiger animal print now available with matching panty!

According to Wishroom, the company manufacturing the Men's Premium Brassiere, the over-the-shoulder-nothing-holder is not being purchased for visual 'benefit' but rather for stress relief, "One customer said when he wears a bra he feels he can 'reset' his feelings. If something bad happens he puts on a bra and feels he can come back and fight another day."  Really? What happened to practicing meditation to manage stress?  For the love of all things even remotely rational, if this is happening in a country where more than half of the population practices Zen Buddhism, what hope is there for the rest of us?!

First, bras for men beat out pantyhose for men as the creepiest surprise under a man's clothes that a woman can find.

Second,  no woman (being the authority on the bra experience) has ever said "I've had the most awful day, after I put ON this bra everything will be all better, itchy under-wire take me away!"

Third and perhaps most important,  if you're a man whose job has become so stressful you're shopping for a new bra.  Shop for a new job instead.

Lastly, take a moment to appreciate your position, you are not the poor Norwegian model seen here clutching his chest.  Considering that he did not wear a bra during the photo shoot,  he was probably unaware of exactly how this assignment would play out and thinking "I'm the face of Japan's newest cutting edge chest protecting technology."  Perhaps something was lost in translation in his modeling contract.