Growing Up Gotti or Gaudy? / by Joe Baz

Sonic the Hedgehog meets the Sopranos

Meet the real life offspring of mob boss John Gotti. Now do you see that crime doesn't pay?

The offense here isn't that they had their own reality show, seems anyone with a trigger temper, unresolved daddy issues, and willingness to get plastic surgery can do that. The true crime here has been committed against innocent grooming. How does one get that look? Well you know how we once learned everything in good measure, take that lesson and shove it out the escalade window. This fresh from daddy's parole hearing look comes together only when everything is in excess. Hair gel, eye brow plucking, gold chains, wife beaters, dear god, I'm thinking of turning lesbian just looking at these guys.

Weekends in Boston the bars can be overrun with growing up gotti extras, binge drinking and spilling into the streets to heckle women while grabbing their balls. Luckily these gotticylons don't have a camera crew following them around, just a vapor trail of PBR and self tanner.

In summary, hair gel is supposed to be used as a styling aid not protective head gear. Apply no more than a quarter size dollop of gel to your mane.