How To Approach Women - Guest Post by Thomas Edwards

How to get her number.
How to get her number.

It's no secret that well dressed guys get more attention from women, but what exactly makes the difference between getting noticed and getting her number? I tapped my good friend Thomas Edwards a.k.a. The Professional Wingman to share some of his tips with you.


No matter how good you look, it won’t mean anything if you can’t connect with the women you meet. So I’m going to teach you the Three C’s of Approaching, a strategy I share with clients to help improve their success in creating great first impressions.

The rule of the Three C’s is, “if you have the first two, don’t worry about the third.”

Context -

This requires you to be aware of the environment around you. What is she drinking? Is she reading a book in the travel section of the bookstore? Is there anything that stands out about her? The people she’s with, if any? The activity she’s involved in? Use these clues as your way to start conversation.

When you can connect with her from the very beginning, you no longer look like a “random guy.”

Confidence -

I know Emmi is great when it comes to style, so pay attention to what she tells you! Her advice is what I like to call “24/7” advice. It applies anytime, anywhere. If you’re looking to live a specific lifestyle, this advice not something you can only do 8 hours a day.

To add a quick side note: Grooming is the easiest of all the things you can do. Trimming your body hair, showering daily, and keeping your fingernails clean and neat are all things women notice. Neglecting these simple things will dramatically affect your attractiveness and make it very hard to recover from.

But confidence isn’t just through what you wear -- it’s HOW. Your body language is paramount to your overall success in any interaction. But with confidence being an emotional state, how can you project that?

You can do it physically by smiling, standing up straight, keeping hands out of your pockets, putting your drink by your side and slowing down your movements -- for starters.

Verbally, you can do this by talking to other people, no matter who they are. I’ve seen that just talking to anyone and getting used to it will increase your ability to start conversations with attractive women.

Both strategies have a dual-purpose -- to project your confidence externally to other people and trigger your internal confidence through action.

Content -

Once you understand the context of the situation, you’ll have no problem thinking of what to say. If you’re approaching her during the day, you’re better off being direct, stating you find her interesting (or attractive) and introducing yourself.

If you’re out at night, you can still be direct but most guys aren’t as comfortable doing that so instead, be indirect with your approach by asking her a question or making a observational statement.

Invest the time to take care of this part of your life that is completely under your control and it’ll make the things that are harder to control a little easier.


If you’d like to learn the best strategies to meet, attract and connect with women, check out Thomas’ company, The Professional Wingman; and if you’re in Boston or New York City, you can attend the next Wingman Academy event.