Best Practices for your First Date


First dates can raise the cortisol levels in our brains. (Ever stammered for uncomfortably long trying to get out the right words and still fell flat? If you were sober at the time, that was our friend cortisol.) Wearing the right clothes will set you at ease and put you into an instant state of confidence: confidence that triggers the release of a cocktail of neural pleasure chemicals. Which is also enticingly attractive to your date.

Regardless of your individual style, get right on the following 5 points to increase your odds of desirability:

1 - Fit. The fit of your clothing flatters your body, nothing too baggy or tight. Fit is THE most important part of looking good.

2 - Setting. In addition to fitting your body what you choose should fit the occasion. Don't wear a golf polo to an upscale lounge, or a business tie and dress shirt to a weekend dinner.

3 - Condition. Make sure your clothes are in fresh condition - free of pet hair, lint, stains, organic matter, missing buttons, loose threads, and neglected in the dryer wrinkles.

4 - Feel. If you're dressed right she’ll be reaching out to touch you, and she'll stay there if the fabric is soft to the touch.

5 - Comfort. Shoe pinching your toe? Armholes in shirt too high? You simply won't be able to be at ease (the gates to being at your best) if you're not comfortable in your clothing.

Now that you're dressed, Dating coach and Founder of UpDate, Andrea Leiser, has these four tips to be first-date ready:

1 - Be on time. For every modern gentleman, it seems to go without saying, but I've heard too many women say "he was late" as her first impression. Set your alarm so you can be at the date 15 minutes early so you start your date off on the right foot.

2 - Be concise. First dates should not be a Star Wars saga. I've heard people say their first date was 3 hours, even though they knew within the first five minutes whether they wanted to go out again. So after your first drink, make a plan for a second date, or kindly state you had fun, but there won't be a second date. Bada bing, bada boom.

3 - Be surprising. She's likely been to your chosen coffee shop or bar on another date (with another man!), so make sure your date has a little flair so you stand out from the crowd. If you do take her to a coffee shop, grab a bunch of pastries and split them so she has plenty of yummy ones to choose from. If you go to a bar, ask her to order a cocktail that best embodies herself as a joke and point of conversation. It's OK to go to the same places, but find some way to make it memorable.

4 - Be chivalrous. Open the door, pour her water first, and for god's sake, take the check! Modern women want to be (and should be!) treated as equals, but they also like to be taken care of. Politely say you'd "love to" take it, and let her take the check on the third date or so.

Got a Q for Andrea? Hit her up at

Emmi SorokinComment